i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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