so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
