She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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