the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
