Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you inspire me to be a worse person
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
