Don't you send me to vm
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
