I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
