once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
