i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
