Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
