Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
