the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
