I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
