How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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