he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
