Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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