Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
