My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She has the best kind of daddy issues
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
