I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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