Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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