if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
