I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
