I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
