how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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