Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
