I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
