He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
