is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
