I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
