my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
