is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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