dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
