You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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