I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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