walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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