I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
