Kiss
Puke
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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