I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
