am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
