Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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