Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
