What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
