it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
should my penis look like a turkey
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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