Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
