I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
