I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Never underestimate the power of titties
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
