I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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