ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
