I'm really into asian looking animals
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
