Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
