it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
