I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
