What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize