In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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