she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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