I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
its liver damage thursday
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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