So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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